Why I Need a New Phone

So, my home phone has recently been acting funny and sometimes when I dial out, it doesn't dial all the numbers and I have to try the number several times before the call is connected. I don't really understand what the phone's problem is and I wasn't concerned enough to do anything about it until it called 911. And the police called our house. And the police showed up at our house. I think the real mistake was having Chris answer the phone when I saw it was the City of Perrysburg calling. I had been trying to call a friend who happens to have a 9 before a 1 before another 1 in her phone number and I heard my phone skipping numbers so I hung up thinking I would get the "your call cannot be completed" message. Apparently I didn't hang up soon enough because 911 dispatch called our house 3 seconds later to find out what was wrong. I handed the phone to Chris when I saw the caller ID and heard him apologize profusely and try to explain that our phone hasn't been dialing phone numbers properly. We swear it wasn't a prank! Two minutes later Chris was hollering at me to come with him to answer the door for the police. We didn't want them to think there was some kind of domestic abuse going on. I mean, I guess it's good to know that if there was an emergency, these guys are on it. Needless to say, I've been using my cell phone to call out ever since the incident. I still receive calls just fine at home, but I am so not risking another visit from the police, who thought that maybe we just needed to replace the phone's batteries. No such luck. I guess we have some shopping to do.